


A Loser Just Like You

by agirl919



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Biphobia, I need sleep, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Making Out, Pre-squip rich, Rich runs away from gay thoughts, Self-Esteem Issues, So much angst, and post-squip, i don't know how to tag, so many headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 21:26:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11517792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agirl919/pseuds/agirl919
Summary: Once more, the pain stopped. Rich gasped for air, for life, as he sat on his knees and released his hold of the desk, hunched over and exhausted. His fingers twitching as he wrapped them around his sore arms. Then a pair of feet were in front of him and he looked up as a man started to form in front of them.“Richard Goranski, welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor or, your Squip.”“H-Holy shit,” Rich gaped as he looked up at the figure in front of him. “You look like Jim Henson.”**Or "How Rich got his Squip and why he only realized he was bisexual once he got rid of it"





	A Loser Just Like You

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written a fanfiction in so long and BMC has ruined my life. Just a note: Rich has got a lot of self-esteem issues and I like to make him suffer so the angst and self-hate will be real. Avoid if necessary.  
> Otherwise, enjoy!!

In theory, going to a Payless to buy some sneakers for sophomore year should have been an easy trip. Just go in and grab something cheap that didn’t look cheap. Maybe Rich wasn’t loaded but he didn’t need the whole world to know that. 

Freshmen year hadn’t been the best for ol’ Richard Goranski. Firstly, there was Dustin Kropp, who had been his best, and only, friend for all of middle school. Through every single hallway noogie or the new release of some video game or their weird emo phase in the seventh grade where they wore faux fur tails and ripped skinny jeans every day, they were together. Rich didn’t have many people in this world except for Dustin but then freshmen year came and Dustin had just up and decided to get his braces removed and join the basketball team, student government, and Model U.N. all at once. Then one thing led to another and then by October, Dustin had found a brand new group of hot and popular friends, leaving Rich in the dust. 

Then his eldest brother Robbie left for college, and yes, he was still in the state, but he just had to get accepted into fucking Princeton University. Rich once saw him eat a spoon of peanut butter straight from the jar and immediately choke on it two seconds later and now he was in Princeton. But while Rich didn’t particularly like Robbie, he was the only one keeping their house together, as the somehow responsible and mature one when need be. His dad was losing his goddamn mind at this point, drinking so much just to disappear for a few days before he comes back to get angry at Rich and his other older brother, Ray. It was a living nightmare, like a giant stick of dynamite was waiting and waiting and waiting to blow up right in Rich’s face. Of course Rich missed his mom, they all did, but shit it’s been three years now and if he could move on, so could his dad. 

Then there was the girls that he didn’t even want to begin rambling about but mostly because, there wasn’t much to ramble about. Anytime he so much as looked at a girl, they would flip him off, accusing him of being some gross pervert listening to their conversations and, while that may be partially true, Rich was slowly getting bored of jerking off to some porno every other night. He just wanted something, someone. He was sad and lonely and desperate and on the verge of burning down the entire school with himself trapped in the middle. 

To top it all off, reality kicks back in and he sees a really nice pair of mens’ size 6 sneakers on the very top shelf in the Payless. One of the most prominent shitty things about Rich, besides his lisp, was his height. It was embarrassing how many problems he faced just because his parents have shitty genes. He looked to the left and then to the right, looking for some tired employee to come and help him get his dream shoes but oddly enough, there was no one in the store. The mall was busy as usual, with loud chatter and that one cookie place smelling delicious from across the way, but it all seemed to stop once it reached the store. 

Rich shrugged it off because hey, he was a problem solver so he walked over to the next aisle where he found one of those stools with mirrors on the sides, carried it to his original aisle, placed it directly in front of where his shoes were, and stepped on top of it. Even with the stool, the sneakers alluded his grasp. Letting out a dejected sigh, Rich stood on the very tips of his toes, his own rundown Nikes barely managing to hold together at this point. It was always humiliating to force himself into those next few inches but at least nobody could witness his shameful tip toes as his fingers barely grazed the box. 

“Almost there…” He mumbled, chewing on his bottom lip. At long last, his middle finger had hooked inside of the hole on the side of the shoebox. Rich yanked it forward, momentarily celebrating, before the shoebox came tumbling down on him and knocked him off of the stool and into the next wall of shoes. He felt his back hit a couple of shelves and some boxes before he collapsed on his face on the floor, with a mess of random pairs of shoes and boxes around him. Rich groaned and rolled over onto his back as he stared at the flourescent lights, dragging chewed fingernails through the carpet before closing his eyes once more. Rich had never given into his suicidal thoughts but a mountain of shoes falling on top of you isn’t an ordinary occurrence.

“You need some help there, buddy?” 

Rich’s eyes popped open in response to a familiar voice. He never heard the voice directed at him before and Rich had to stop himself from gaping as he looked up into a pair of upside down, warm eyes staring over him.

“Jake?” Rich gasped out.  
He thought to himself. 

Rich knew he looked stupid and vulnerable right now, surrounded by a mess of shoes in some random store all alone, but stupid and vulnerable was the last way he wanted to look in front of Jake Dillinger. “Um, yeah.” 

Jake, who had previously been leaning over him, stepped to the side and offered Rich his hand. Rich grabbed it and stood up, noticing an ache in his back and pizza grease on Jake’s fingers. 

“Sorry about that, bro. I was just at Sbarro getting my grub on when I heard a bunch of shit fall. I wanted to make sure it was okay in here,” Jake paused, “Name’s Jake Dillinger. You’re Rick right?” 

“I-I know,” Rich said, wiping off any extra grease on his jeans. “It’s Rich, actually, but if you w-wanna call me Rick that works too.” God, why was he so nervous? And why was he letting his lisp slip through? On the one hand, Jake was basically awesomeness and popularity personified and maybe Rich idolized him and stared at him for too long in their one shared math class but fractions were lame anyways. But still, Jake is just another teenager, just like Rich, and for all he knew, Jake would end up being some random douchebag people just like because he’s popular and more attractive than an average boy in New Jersey. 

Jake laughed, a sweet, angelic laugh that could have made Rich question his sexuality before squatting down to grab some of the shoes off the floor. “Nah, if I know your name, I’ll use it. So what the hell happened here?” 

Rich fidgeted with his hands for a moment before he realized he should probably help instead of just stand by idly as his good hearted samaritan cleans up his mess. He dropped down to his knees and put a pair of gray converse back into their brightly colored box. 

“W-Well,” He forced himself to relax, “I saw this wicked cool pair of shoes online the other day y’know? So I come into the store and there’s nobody around. I shrug it off and try to get my shoes from the top shelf but I’m not exactly…”

“Tall?” Jake offered. 

“Yeah, so I grabbed a stool, fell over, and made an idiot of myself in front of the great Jake Dillinger in a Payless.” His lisp especially showed at the end but if Jake noticed, he didn’t mind. He actually had been nodding along the whole time, as well as putting away most of the shoes. He stood up and Rich followed, his own shoebox in his hands, as Rich was made acutely aware of the height difference between them. 

“Hey, I’m not that great,” Jake scoffed. “Well, not enough for a ‘the’ in front of my entire name but it is appreciated. Hey, let me see your kicks!” 

Rich handed Jake the shoebox. It was really just a pair of navy blue Nikes but they still looked great and with school starting in just a few more weeks, maybe something as simple as a new pair of shoes could bring some hope into the new school year. 

“Dude nice!” Jake grinned, shoving Rich’s shoulder playfully. “I would buy a pair but they probably don’t have my size. I got some pretty big feet, if you know what I’m saying, bro.” He winked before laughing at his own dumb joke and Rich was just floored by how cool, no, how _chill_ Jake was, especially with some random loser like himself. “But, really, this is a nice blue.”

“Is blue your favorite?” Rich asked. 

“Definitely. My room looks like one of those color aesthetic boards from Pinterest,” Jake joked. 

“I, um, actually dyed my hair blue, like, two years ago.” That was irrelevant, wasn’t it? Why does that even matter if Rich used some Kool-Aid to get a blue streak in his bangs when he was thirteen? It only lasted for a few weeks anyway but at least it made his eyes pop. 

Jake, however, lit up. “That sounds awesome! My parents never really let me do anything but they haven’t been around lately so I might dye it sometime soon. You should dye yours again too. That would probably look good on you. No homo, though.” 

“Seriously?” Rich asked. God, this was a dream. Jake had been talking to him for a whole seven minutes and complimented him in that time too. “Um, what color?” 

Jake studied him for a moment. His eyes traveled along Rich’s body, scrunched up like he was actually analyzing Rich to make sure he gave him an accurate response. 

“I would say red, but like a streak. Something that really gets you noticed. You kind of blend in honestly and if I didn’t cheat off of you in Algebra every now and then, I probably would have forgotten your name by now. No offense, of course.” 

“Y-yeah.” Rich knew Jake wasn’t exactly wrong but he really wasn’t in the mood for some self-loathing right now. 

“Look, I’ll catch ya later, Rich. I’m usually over at Sbarro or somewhere near there. Love me some greasy pizza,” He chuckled before waving and finally, leaving Rich alone again. 

“Bye,” Rich muttered quietly. He watched as Jake walked off towards some store, rarely was he ever seen alone. But holy shit, Jake actually talked to him and he was so excited and cheery and just genuinely kind. He had Rich’s heart fluttering the entire time and man would Rich give anything to be like Jake, to hang with Jake. ‘He really is awesome,’ Rich realized, clutching his shoe box closer to his chest. Maybe he’ll buy some hair dye later on…

“Yo, kid!” 

Rich jumped, turning around to see some middle-aged employee near the back of the store. He looked like a pretty average guy aside from the creepy vibe he was putting off. 

“Are you going to help me check out now or what?” Rich replied sarcastically. 

“That was sad on your behalf.” He remarked, placing his hand on his hip. Rich noticed he was tightly clutching a shoebox of a pair of ladies’ running shoes. 

“What do you mean?” 

“That whole debacle with your pretty, little boy toy. I mean, have you ever even spoken to another person your age before?” 

Rich wanted to get defensive, get angry, but he just couldn’t find the energy to fight back. “He’s not my, uh, boy toy. He’s just this super popular kid at my school, okay?” 

The employee walked closer and he practically loomed over Rich in how big he was. “Let me guess: you’re the troubled nerd with nowhere left to go but up and Dawson’s Creek over there is the gates of heaven to your pits of hell. Am I right, or what?” 

Rich looked back to where Jake had left him and turned back to face the burly man in the eyes, “Yeah, so what?” 

“If you want him-”

“I’m not gay, sir,” Rich interrupted. 

“Sure, kid,” The employee chuckled. “I have something for you that’s even better than a new pair of shoes but I will ring those up for you in a minute because I do work on commission. It’s not exactly legal or tested but you seem like a nice kid and it would only cost you two hundred dollars.” 

“T-two hundred?!” Rich gasped. “That’s such a scam! What would I even pay that much for?” 

The employee looked around to see nothing but an empty store, still, and pulled Rich in closer so he could speak quietly. “It’s called...a squip.” 

“A s-squid?” 

“No, dammit, it’s not that weird of a name,” The man mumbled something else before opening the shoebox he held to pull out a single gray pill out of countless of others. “A squip. Inside of this weird, little pill, there’s a quantum supercomputer that will implant inside of your brain and turn you into a better you. A cooler, more confident, popular you that could actually hang with guys like your pal over there. Think of it like an awesome conscious. I can assure you that it works, bud.” 

The employee pointed across the way to where Jake was talking up a pair of giggling girls who stared at him like he was some gorgeous celebrity. Jake actually looked over to where Rich was and waved happily before turning back to the girls who continued laughing along with him. 

“So it will make me cool?” Rich gulped. He felt up his wallet in his front pocket. Oddly enough, he actually had the money and while he spent the whole summer doing odd jobs to save up for some awesome new clothes for school, if he wasn’t being scammed, this could be worth so much more than what he had actually come to the mall for. 

“If you want to simplify it, yes,” The employee, Gerald, from his nametag that Rich hadn’t bothered to read until now, took a step back. “It’s from Japan. What’s cooler than Japan? It tells you what to do and then you can hang with the big boys. If you want it, you got it.” He tucked the shoebox full of squips under one arm while he held the little pill in one hand, as his other hand was outstretched, expecting some form of payment. 

“Fine,” Rich grumbled. He opened up his wallet and smacked a wad of money summing up to about two hundred dollars into Gerald’s sweaty palm. In return, Gerald dropped the pill into the hand that wasn’t holding the shoebox. 

“Perfect. Trust me; it will change your life.” Gerald smirked oddly. “No refunds by the way and take it with Mountain Dew. Dunno why but that’s how you activate it. Now if you still want those shoes, keep your wallet open and follow me to the register.” He led the way as Rich stuffed the pill into his pocket and tried to savor the feeling of having any money in his wallet. 

Later that day, after Rich had biked home with nothing more than fifty dollars, a pair of sneakers, a strange pill, and a bottle of Mountain Dew, he sat in his bedroom, staring at the pill sitting on his desk. He stared at it from a distance, like it could explode any second now, before sighing as he began to pace around his room. 

“Okay, so this cost two hundred dollars,” Rich had a habit of speaking aloud when he was troubled, “and that fucking blows but if this works then I’ll actually get on Jake’s level and that would be awesome! If it doesn’t, then I’ll just drown my sorrows in Mountain Dew and shoot some guys on Black Ops, no big deal.” 

Rich licked his lips, once, twice, it was just a nervous tic of his, and hey, maybe this squip would get rid of that for him. “Fuck it,” Rich said, and reached for the pill and the open bottle of Mountain Dew next to it. He popped the pill into his mouth before gulping down some Mountain Dew to wash it down. His face twisted up in disgust, “Ew, that’s a weird flavor combination.” 

Then, he waited. The guy at Payless never actually told him what he would be looking for or what he would be feeling but maybe that was because there was nothing to feel other than despair and regret. Rich had gotten scammed. He knew it now when it was too late. 

“Time for Black Ops,” He announced dejectedly and walked over to the tv stand, littered with different games and a couple of old candy wrappers. He searched for a minute or two before realizing it wasn’t even in there. He groaned since now he would have to walk to Ray’s room all the way down in the basement to grab his own video game to blow off some steam but at least he was home alone so Ray wouldn’t yell at him for it. He stood up and tried to reach for the door handle when he heard a somewhat automated voice, loud and clear, and a sharp pain, like electricity, run down his spine.

“Primary objective: changing.”

“What the fuck?” Rich spoke before another strong volt of electricity ran down through his legs. He fell down to the floor in pain, as his legs twitched momentarily from the burning volts coursing through him. His vision began to blur as he gripped the fibers of his carpet desperately.

“Calibration in process. Please excuse some mild discomfort.” 

Another strong shock down his arms had Rich shaking, “The fuck does mild mean to you?!” 

“Calibration process: complete. Access procedure: initiating.” 

Then the pain stopped. Rich’s vision was blurry and his head was dizzy but it had stopped for a second. The overwhelming amounts of pain and electricity and that weird voice in his head, which he should probably worry about sooner or later, had all abruptly stopped. 

“Okay, not too bad,” He huffed out and he gripped his desk to help him stand up. 

“Discomfort levels may increase.” 

The voice interrupted as a blazing hot pain shot through his skull, electrifying every nerve inside of his body. Rich gripped the wooden desk for dear life as the voice continued to update itself inside of Rich’s head. 

“Accessing: neural memory.” 

More electric shocks coursed through him as tears threatened to pour out if he had to endure another minute of scorching hot pain. It was horrible, as if he were being tortured for some crime he didn’t commit. He could hardly breathe and he shouted once or twice in pain; his ears ringing so loudly he could hardly hear his own voice. 

“Accessing: muscle memory. Accessing procedure complete.” 

Once more, the pain stopped. Rich gasped for air, for life, as he sat on his knees and released his hold of the desk, hunched over and exhausted. His fingers twitching as he wrapped them around his sore arms. Then a pair of feet were in front of him and he looked up as a man started to form in front of them. 

“Richard Goranski, welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor or, your Squip.” 

“H-Holy shit,” Rich gaped as he looked up at the figure in front of him. “You look like Jim Henson.” 

Indeed he did, in perfect detail as far as Rich could recall, everything from the way his hair was styled down to the shoe size, and Rich didn’t even know that. 

“It’s my default mode based off of memories of your past. He seems to be your childhood hero but if this is not your preferred one, you may also select from George Clooney, Zac Efron, or Rupaul. May I ask about that last one?” 

“I admire his confidence,” Rich said, breathlessly, as the Squip changed its voice from one celebrity to the next. He stood up, wincing from the amount of pain he had just endured, and inspected the doppelganger. “Can anyone else see you?” 

“No, just you, so you’ll have to learn to communicate with me telepathically so you don’t get thrown into the mental ward. Now let’s see what we’re working with.” 

Rich felt a little awkward now as the Squip began inspecting and analyzing him like some circus animal by some fucking supercomputer that looked like his childhood hero. For a few moments, Rich had to reassure himself he didn’t die from electrocution and that this was all happening. 

“Do not pinch yourself,” The Squip interrupted Rich’s thinking as he pulled his fingers away from his forearm. “I can assure you this is real. Now, you are Richard, commonly known as Rich, Goranski, you have two older brothers named Robbie and Ray, your mother passed away three years ago which resulted in your father’s drinking habit, you basically have no friends and yet, you crave the popularity and attention of one Jake Dillinger.” 

Rich shuffled his feet, “Basically, yeah. I want him to notice me.” 

The Squip paused for a moment and Rich felt an involuntary twitch in his neck. “Yes, from what I see, he does seem pretty awesome. Are you aiming for a platonic relationship or a romantic one?” 

“Platonic, dude, I swear I’m not gay,” Rich whined. “Like I’ve thought about it and yeah, he’s hot or whatever, but I’m pretty sure I’m solely into ladies so let’s roll with that, okay?” 

“Rupaul was one of my default settings so…” He trailed off, “But, if you want to become a popular kid, things need to change and I think you already know that.” The Squip leaned forward, staring down at Rich, making him feel much smaller than he already was. 

“You have a lisp and you are shorter than the average male and I do not see a major growth spurt in your future. You have no friends and you have a poor family and financial situation. It is both a blessing and a curse that your self-esteem is already so low. In short, you are a disgusting little nobody who cries too much. Agreed?” 

Although there were tears forming at his eyes, much to his own dismay, Rich wiped them away and began to nod along in agreement. “Yeah, I’m disgusting.” 

“Yes, you are absolutely pathetic, correct?” 

Rich crossed his arms, taking deep breaths to avoid breaking out into tears. He never had a good sense of self-worth and to hear it amplified so clearly now hurt a lot more than Rich thought it could. “Correct.” 

The Squip moved forward with a broad grin on its face, “Listen, I can mold you into the best version of yourself if you will let me, Rich?” 

Rich sighed, closing his eyes and trying to process what was happening. He thought about what the Squip was saying, and how right he was, and he thought about his brothers, his father, Dustin, and Jake. “Teach me how to be cool.” 

“Not cool,” The Squip replied, “but chill. Aside from the many faults in you, you aren’t terrible looking, both face-wise and body-wise.Do you regularly work out?” 

“I like to run laps when I’m angry and my brothers and I go to the gym just to get out of the house so I have some muscle.” Rich said, and he actually did. He wasn’t sporting godly abs but he was in good shape. His arms and legs were pretty sculpted from fighting and training with his brothers. No one ever noticed because Rich always wore such baggy clothing. Hell, right now he was wearing a loose t-shirt and some hand-me-down jeans, and that was the outfit he had worn in public today. 

“Good. I can work with that,” The Squip said, “but yes, your fashion sense is not the best and you have very little to sacrifice. Currently, you are little more than a suicidal masturbator whose best Friday night was when he came two times in a row. Rich, if you are willing to listen and obey me, I can give you everything you want and more, deal?” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Perfect. First, let’s start with that stupid lisp.” 

**

Weeks passed, filled with strenuous amounts of exercise and electrical shocks and a little more shopping than Rich had expected but the Squip had kept his promise and Rich was becoming a better version of himself. His Squip had started to train his nerves and tongue so he didn’t lisp at all now, his body looked better than ever now since the Squip got him on some new exercise plan and made him do push-ups whenever he tried to jerk off. He now owned a large variety of tank tops to show off his new and improved figure, his bright red hair streak looked great on him, and he actually didn’t get ragged on by his father anymore. Since Rich was the runt of the family, it was easiest to pick on him for a hundred million reasons but now, his dad’s anger wasn’t exacted on him anymore and he loved it. But now, it was the first day of school, and Rich nervously closed his locker as he began to walk towards his first period class. 

“Look straight ahead and keep to the left side of the hallway,” his Squip told him. 

“But my class is on the right?” Rich replied. 

“Just wait. You’ll thank me later.” 

The one thing Rich hated about the Squip, besides the lack of privacy and electrical shocks, was the mysterious comments and allusions he always made. By now, Rich trusted it since it had helped so far but it was sometimes frightening with the amount of power and knowledge it had. 

Then something hit Rich full on and fell on top of him. Some lanky boy who was running in the hallways had knocked them both over with Rich underneath of him. He sat with Rich’s left leg in between his own two with his hands on either side of Rich’s head. Oddly enough, Rich did feel the pain in his back and the weight on his chest but he was hyper aware of their somewhat intimate position and the bright, blue eyes this random kid had. Was this the Squip’s weird way of getting him a boyfriend like in those rom-com movies Ray secretly liked to watch? 

“Oh crap, I-I’m sorry. Um, are you alright?” The boy replied, still on top of Rich. A few people had actually stopped walking with how much noise they made when they had fallen. 

“Repeat after me,” The Squip interrupted. 

Rich was confused but he went with it all the same, a combination of adrenaline and pain from the fall spurring him on, “You wanna get off of me or is riding another dude something for your spank bank later on?” 

He heard a couple of laughs around him as the boy, who Rich now recognized as Jeremy Heere from his English class last year, sat up as a blushing mess. “S-s-sorry, my bad, dude. I know being new can suck sometimes.” 

“I’m not-!”

“Go with the idea you’re new and take charge.” 

“I’m not done with you, tall-ass.” Rich said, trying to muster up confidence as they both stood up. He hated being looked down to and although he never really knew Jeremy, he was really getting pissed off by him. “What are you, a goddamn string bean?” He grabbed Jeremy’s shirt collar and brought him down to eye-level. Poor kid looked terrified but his Squip told him to continue on for only a couple seconds longer and then he would be in the clear. 

“N-no, I don’t know…” 

“And what’s with the stutter? If you’ve got something to say to me then say it because if you didn’t know me before, you sure as hell will now.” Rich was scared by his own voice but didn’t reject what he was saying. He sounded intimidating and he actually loved it. He liked to be the one in control, the one with the upper-hand. He let go of Jeremy’s shirt collar as he heard another boy call out for Jeremy, looking just as scared as him and standing his ground a few feet away.

“Tell your boyfriend I said hi, sweetheart.” Rich chuckled as he pushed Jeremy over to his friend. When he heard a few more laughs from the crowd and the bell ring, he didn’t feel so nervous when he walked into class. He sat in the third seat by the window, as Squip directed, before he saw an excited figure jump into the seat in front of him. 

“Rich, oh my god, what was that?” Jake was grinning wildly at him, his whole body faced directly towards him as he gripped the back of his chair. Jake’s legs were so long they basically hung from the chair and it just made him look so goofy and Rich kind of loved it. 

“Play it off,” the Squip said. 

“Oh, that? Nothing much. Just some loser who needed to learn his place.” 

“Yeah man, that was badass,” Jake was practically beaming. He paused for a moment as he blatantly looked Rich up and down and Rich could have sworn he blushed. “Dude, you look awesome! What happened over the summer?” 

“Flatter him,” the Squip said. 

“I just took your advice, dude. I figured after the whole incident at Payless that maybe I could learn to be just as cool as you are.” Rich paused as the Squip talked to him, “No homo, though.” 

Jake smiled understandingly, “Yeah, well, it paid off. I told you red would look good on you and that drum tattoo is killer. No homo, bro, but tank tops were a good idea.” 

Rich blushed, “Thanks, man. Uh, got any plans for lunch today?” 

Jake hesitated, as if deciding to reveal the truth or not, before nodding over his shoulder at two girls across the room, “Well, Chloe and Brooke wanted to go to Chipotle and they’re making me pay for the both of them and I usually wouldn’t but Chloe is kind of my girlfriend? More of a fuck buddy honestly but she says we’re together.” 

“Make an offer to pay and make it a double date. He’ll accept. Do not worry,” said the Squip. 

Rich really hated inviting himself into things. He was like a goddamn vampire with how specific you needed to be when inviting him to anywhere. He never really felt like he was important enough to just shove himself into something if he really wasn’t wanted. But then Jake just sat there all droopy-eyed with a little pout as he crossed his arms on the back of his chair. 

“Do you-” A shock ran down his spine and he bit his lip to keep from shouting out in pain. 

“Assert yourself. Confidence, my friend.” 

Rich chuckled internally at the use of the word ‘friend’ before shaking it off as Jake sat up, fully attentive. “I’ll come with you. Brooke’s a, uh, hot piece of ass, right? Then you can pay for Chloe and I’ll pay for her and we can just split a burrito bowl or something, yeah?” Did he really just call Brooke that? Ugh, his mom would be so mad at him for talking about a girl like that. She was quite the activist, actually, not that Rich ever minded. 

Jake, however, broke back into that blindingly bright smile as the teacher called for the class’s attention. “Dope, dude. You’re on.” He winked at Rich before finally turning around in his seat and Rich was a little happier that day. 

** 

“Girls suck, dude. I’m fucking done!” Jake yelled as he threw his backpack into some corner of his room. Rich followed him at a distance, carrying his own backpack anxiously, stepping over a few random items on the floor. Seeing Jake angry was a very rare and terrifying sight considering how composed he usually kept himself during the day. 

Things had been going well so far between Jake and Rich and they were a lot closer than Rich had ever thought they could be but in that time, Jake and Chloe hadn’t been doing as well. 

See, it had started slow, with Jake and Rich going on double dates with Chloe and Brooke, respectively, and Chloe becoming more and more demanding around Jake. Jake never really gave it a second thought but Rich’s Squip forced Rich to voice his concerns about Chloe’s dominant and carefree personality so Jake became more and more anxious whenever Chloe was around. It was great being Jake’s best bro but Rich hated how stressed he made Jake until today. 

A little while after school got out, the Squip told him to take Brooke out to the bleachers to make out with or something and while Brooke was absolutely adorable, Rich just never felt like they were compatible together but hey, he was popular enough to get with a popular girl and that made him happy. Girls made him happy in general but Brooke couldn’t do everything to make Rich happy but she was at least a good kisser. Then Rich saw it, with Brooke’s hand in his own as they both stopped in their tracks. 

Chloe sat on some random dude’s lap, the two tangled up together and kissing like there was no tomorrow, right underneath the bleachers, no less than ten feet away from where Jake was practicing with his team for a soccer match on the field. 

Brooke gasped and then Rich felt his body pulling the two of them down, as if he were being puppeted, right when a soccer ball hit the chainlink fence next to them. Jake, of course, came running after the ball, profusely apologizing to them before he saw it too. Then there was this whole argument with Jake and Chloe and then Brooke went with Chloe and Rich stood by Jake before Jake drove both he and Rich back home over to Jake’s place.

Now, here they were, Rich plopping himself onto the bed next to Jake who laid down onto his pillows. This actually wasn’t Rich’s first time in Jake’s bedroom but he hated the circumstances that brought him here. 

“Did you do this?” Rich thought to the Squip. It seemed like it was just too much of a coincidence for Rich and Brooke to be in the right place at the right time and then the soccer ball and everything. 

“Not...exactly,” the Squip shrugged. “I told you I can see possible futures according to specific calculations. I didn’t make Chloe cheat on Jake but I figured this was the best way for you two to get closer.” 

“By breaking his heart?” Rich was exasperated at this point. 

“Unfortunately, yes. It was only a matter of time.” 

Rich looked over at Jake, still sweaty from practice in his soccer uniform. His hair was all tousled, and he just stared up at the ceiling, eyes all hazy and a little wet, honestly. Rich had never looked at Jake this long before, never really studied his features like this. Everything about his features was so soft yet defined and his slow breathing as he relaxed into the bed was just so calming. 

Rich leaned down closer next to Jake, face about a foot away from his own, much like the first time Jake spoke to him, and Jake’s eyes finally settled onto Rich. If he was uncomfortable with their close proximity then he would have said something, anything, but Jake just sat there quietly, eyes trailing over Rich’s own features.

“Look, dude,” Rich sighed, “You’re a really awesome guy, okay? I mean, yeah, Chloe is attractive but shit, she doesn’t get to treat you like that, whether she’s your girlfriend or your fuckbuddy. You could do so much better than her, I mean, come on. You’re smart and you’re funny and you’re probably the best-looking person in the entire county and-” 

“Rich, I gotta tell you something and I just hope you don’t punch me in the face for it. You’ll have every right too but that’s one of my better features, dude,” Jake interrupted, eyes flickering between the walls, his dresser, the bed sheets, on anything but Rich. 

“It’s just that you’re a genuinely awesome guy and the whole reason I ever talked to you was to impress the cashier chick at Sbarro. Didn’t work, by the way. But I’m just such a dick and you and everybody else sees me as this awesome person but who am I, really?’

Rich paused, and while a part of him became bitter and wanted to leave knowing Jake had originally saw him as some charity case, another part of him hurt to see Jake so broken and unsure about himself. Jake’s eyes finally met his and Rich bit his lip, before his voice lowered considerably. 

“You’re the greatest guy I know. I really care about you, man.,” Rich felt bile gather in his throat and a swirl of emotions because yes, he had always admired Jake but just seeing him so vulnerable and weak made him realize how much he actually cared about Jake.

Moments passed, long silent ones with little more than their breathing to fill the void, as if they were awaiting something to interrupt them but nothing did. 

“You didn’t say ‘no homo’,” Jake muttered. 

“I wouldn’t have meant it.” 

And then Rich felt a pair of hands pulling him downwards and a pair of lips on his own. 

For a second, Rich was stuck, frozen. This wasn’t his first kiss and he could no longer call himself a virgin now, thanks to Brooke, but this time he felt something much stronger than before. Everything became so sensitive and surreal. He could hear Jake’s uneven breathing and the little gasp he made when Rich kissed him back, felt his lips split into a small smile, one of his hands leaving Rich’s hair to grab his hip so he could have Rich lay on top of him completely. Their legs tangled up together as Jake moaned quietly, playing with the shorter, softer hairs on the back of Rich’s neck. Jake licked once at Rich’s mouth, pleading for entrance, and then again, thinking Rich didn’t quite get the hint somehow, but then he peeked open an eye to see Rich smirking broadly, acutely aware of what Jake was trying to do. 

“You’re such a tease, Richie,” Jake chuckled before giving a quick smack to Rich’s ass to make him gasp so he could finally slip his tongue into Rich’s mouth and fuck, that was good. It was different but good as Rich let Jake’s tongue explore his mouth, he even sucked on it once or twice to just see how Jake would react. Jake moaned into Rich’s mouth as Rich let a hand travel up Jake’s shirt, feeling up defined abs and a little more hair on his chest than Rich expected. 

Jake pulled back from the kiss, gasping and letting out small moans, before sucking little bruises on Rich’s collarbones, nothing too dark but just enough for Rich to see. Every single bite and lick set Rich on fire as he tilted his head to the side so Jake could suck harder. He yanked Jake back by his hair, getting another moan and Rich was genuinely surprised with how vocal Jake could get, before sitting up to help Jake take off his shirt and removing his own next. Rich leaned back down to kiss and bite at Jake’s lips as he clung to him tighter.

Rich loved the way Jake tasted, like gatorade and mint, and how he smelled, musky from sweat but still like freshly cut grass, and his voice was so gorgeous whenever he said Rich’s name. Everything was so hot and fantastic and then Jake grabbed Rich’s hips and grinded upwards, getting a moan from both of them. “How far do you wanna go, babe?” 

“Warning, warning.” 

Rich felt a strong buzzing in his ear as his body somehow untangled itself away from Jake’s warm touches and soft kisses. He felt his feet carry himself out of the hallway and down the hall to the bathroom, shutting the door once he got in. Another zap of electricity ran down his chest, causing him to bend over in pain as his Squip projected itself in front of him. 

“Rich, what are you doing?” His Squip materialized in front of him and now Rich could add getting yelled at by Jim Henson onto his list of freaky shit that he never thought would happen in his lifetime. 

“Well, I was making out with a hot guy,” Rich paused before he began to laugh.

“Holy shit, I just made out with Jake.” Then his laughter stopped. 

“Oh my god, I just made out with Jake. What does this mean?” 

“You tell me,” the Squip said, tapping its foot impatiently. “If you were gay, this would have worked out easier. The numbers were high that Jake would have an interest in men, considering his bad relationship with his parents and his secret insecurities obviously leads to repressed feelings for the same gender and more specifically you.” 

Rich stood up straight, rubbing his stomach, “Well, I still like girls but I also like Jake and maybe guys in general aren’t so bad. I mean, Keanu Reeves was pretty hot in the Matrix, but I just thought I had a dude crush.” 

“So you’re saying you like both men and women?” The Squip said cautiously. 

“Yeah, exactly. That’s, um, what’s the word? Bisexual, right?” Rich’s eyes lighting up with his newfound discovery. Why did he never consider this before? 

“Correct.” The Squip answered. “But you can't be that.” 

“Why not?” 

“Listen, Rich, you are popular now. I brought you up from nothing and turned you into someone. Girls wanna screw you, boys envy you, and you are best friends with Jake Dillinger. If you came out as bisexual now, well, imagine the possibilities of something so overly complicated, and if you tried to announce Jake as your boyfriend, if he even wants that.” 

“What do you mean?” Rich’s smile had fallen off his face as the Squip tore open all of the self-doubt and worrying Rich had managed to suppress for so long. 

“Well, I don’t want to play into your insecurities but here you are as Jake’s good friend, the one who he knows so well and cares about so much for, comforting him after he breaks up with his girlfriend. It would make sense if you were a rebound. I let you play into his desires to build up your trust but this cannot continue any longer.” 

Rich’s smile fell off his face. It had made sense when he thought about it and he really did like Jake and kissing him was awesome so maybe he liked him as more than a friend. It took him so long to realize this new part of himself and as soon as he figured out, he would have to hide it. 

“Rich, I am able to suppress your natural attraction to men and, more specifically, Jake, if you would allow me.” The Squip’s anger had died down by now, replaced by what seemed like sympathy at the time. 

Then there was a knock on the door. “Rich?” It was Jake, with a scratchy, gentle voice, and Rich didn’t know if it was from him crying or their makeout session but he knew he had to choose. 

Rich slowly found himself agreeing with the Squip because no matter how many paint jobs or tire changes you give to your car, it’s the same old dirty rust bucket underneath. Rich was that broken down little punk underneath his newfound popularity and his good looks and he really didn’t want to lose out on that just because he figured out he likes dudes. 

Rich exhaled shakily, “Do what you gotta do.” 

“Rich?” Jake called out again, knocking once more. “Look, we can just forget about it, okay? I’m sorry, dude.” 

Then Rich opened the door, his face absent of any human emotion, before breaking into a smile, “Jakey D, it’s fine, okay? Seriously, let’s just go watch some TV and make some popcorn. Forget the whole thing ever happened.” 

Jake hesitated, biting his lip as he stared at Rich’s neck, where purple marks that he made so desperately began to form already before shaking it off. It happened and it was done with and Jake could force himself to live with that. 

Then Jake led the way down to the kitchen while Rich tried to ignore the empty feeling in his gut.

**Author's Note:**

> I have never written angst before I just had a lot of feelings from listening to the few lines referencing Rich's freshman year and his days pre-squip and I just love him and Jake way too much
> 
> Also I gave Rich's brothers some more depth to really show an impact on how it could have affected his self esteem and the same goes for his relationship with Dustin and his parents. A lot of this is just headcanons tbh
> 
> Kudos/comments are always appreciated!! Constructive criticism is welcomed as well! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!!!


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